The purpose of this study is to analyze the gender and self-development in love among single and married men and women. This study applies qualitative case study to make sense of the structure and the meanings of love experience associated with traditional gender role independence and interdependence,. This method focuses on the experiences and the meanings of love as understood by interviewees. Interview data used for this study were collected through in -depth interviews of 18 interviewees. The subjects were chosen from lower class and middle class men and women who lived in Soul. Major findings of this study were as follows; First it was found that there is the romantic ideologies of love and that women are responsible for their love relationships. This could be called " the feminization of love" Second feminized love was related to split gender role and caused to its costs for men and women especially conflict over intimacy. third even though there was still feminized love the trend to androgynouis love was found Androgynous love provided an alternative based on interdependence and the integration of love and self-development.velopment.